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The soul

 I know I talked a little about this in my blog about reincarnation, but I want to say more conserning this matter, becouse not very long ago I made a revolation that shocked me a little, but I feel It has solid ground. So from a young age we are thought by our parents, church or grandma (oh that grandma...) about the fact that out body is mortal, but inside we have an immortal soul. It's all well and dandy there but then starts that buls*it about ”when we die we go to heven” and stay there becouse in the bilions of years that the earth exsisted it soooo possible that all the ded people are there the milions upon milions of f - ing souls just living happily in some wonderland!!! (Sorry I got a little caried away couse this story is just so stupid (no offence to those that believe in it)). So, this story gave me the oppurtunity to speculate that reincarnation exsists - whenever we die, our soul (maby making a pitstop in the so called hevan) returns to earth and we are born again in a new body. But that got me thinking again - what is the difference between new souls and old ones. New souls do exsist becouse the world population is bigger than ever before, so what's the difference? Well up until a year ago I was convinced I am an old soul and then I notised I was very emotional. Thats it - emotions. The thing is, when I lough, cry, when I'm mad I rarely do it senceraly... I katch myself faking all my emotions. I heard somwhere that newborn babys cry becouse they still remember their past life. I heard there are babys that don't cry at all when born. Maby, just maby we lernt our emotions in time? Maby we felt things that others thought are normal, maby it's all an act, that we are so used to that we don't ever think about wether it's fake. Maby all of the old ones are actors, acting in the play of life. I know I probably upset some people with this one, but I genuanly think about this. Remember it's just my silly personal opinion :D

Neringa ❤

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Update So, this was what I've been thinking. Since I'm kind of writting this to myself and since it's ”my” page to begin with starting tomorow (the 3rd of March) I'm going to publish a novel here. Not just any novel though, but the shitty one I'm writting myself. You see, when the text is sitting in a word document on my desktop there is a lack of motivation to read it a nother 1000 times or writte it further, when the kinks of the older parts are not quite smove yet. So, starting this saturday and ecvery saturday affter I'm going to post a chapter of the story I'm proud of, of the novel I'm going to finish (not like the 5 others that were before it) so, in conclusion - read it, don't read it. Writte comments, don't writte comments. You know what? I don't really care anymore. The most important thing in life is to be happy and make others happy, so I hope It will make someone happy (interested) and it will get me motivated. So see ya on sat...
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Feeling It's a very strange feeling, what i felt today... I just finished a book, an istorical novel about world war II. It was a great book.I felt as if it was wrote for me. I was reading the last few pages when I felt tear tracks coming down my face. I didn't really feel sad, I already got through the most tragic parts and still, I felt something strange, something from inside. Something was bothering me as tears fell down on the page and something clenched my frought. It's like the one crying wasn't me. Like it was somebody else, somebody that deeply understood the pain that was ingraved on to these pages. It is curently 2 a.m. as I'm writting this. I still can't sleep. I can't calm myself down. I can't understand what is real ant what isn't, where does the story end? Yes, i finished that book, but i feel like it isn't finished, not becouse it ended in the way it did, but becouse, in some way, I feel like it is still going on. I feel scared...
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