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Feeling
It's a very strange feeling, what i felt today... I just finished a book, an istorical novel about world war II. It was a great book.I felt as if it was wrote for me. I was reading the last few pages when I felt tear tracks coming down my face. I didn't really feel sad, I already got through the most tragic parts and still, I felt something strange, something from inside. Something was bothering me as tears fell down on the page and something clenched my frought. It's like the one crying wasn't me. Like it was somebody else, somebody that deeply understood the pain that was ingraved on to these pages.
It is curently 2 a.m. as I'm writting this. I still can't sleep. I can't calm myself down. I can't understand what is real ant what isn't, where does the story end? Yes, i finished that book, but i feel like it isn't finished, not becouse it ended in the way it did, but becouse, in some way, I feel like it is still going on.
I feel scared, I feel lonely and I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I'm a strange person and I don't know why I'm writting this to you now, but if you got this far - thank you. Thank you for not leaving me alone with the demon within myself.

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Update So, this was what I've been thinking. Since I'm kind of writting this to myself and since it's ”my” page to begin with starting tomorow (the 3rd of March) I'm going to publish a novel here. Not just any novel though, but the shitty one I'm writting myself. You see, when the text is sitting in a word document on my desktop there is a lack of motivation to read it a nother 1000 times or writte it further, when the kinks of the older parts are not quite smove yet. So, starting this saturday and ecvery saturday affter I'm going to post a chapter of the story I'm proud of, of the novel I'm going to finish (not like the 5 others that were before it) so, in conclusion - read it, don't read it. Writte comments, don't writte comments. You know what? I don't really care anymore. The most important thing in life is to be happy and make others happy, so I hope It will make someone happy (interested) and it will get me motivated. So see ya on sat...
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The soul I know I talked a little about this in my blog about reincarnation, but I want to say more conserning this matter, becouse not very long ago I made a revolation that shocked me a little, but I feel It has solid ground. So from a young age we are thought by our parents, church or grandma (oh that grandma...) about the fact that out body is mortal, but inside we have an immortal soul. It's all well and dandy there but then starts that buls*it about ”when we die we go to heven” and stay there becouse in the bilions of years that the earth exsisted it soooo possible that all the ded people are there the milions upon milions of f - ing souls just living happily in some wonderland!!! (Sorry I got a little caried away couse this story is just so stupid (no offence to those that believe in it)). So, this story gave me the oppurtunity to speculate that reincarnation exsists - whenever we die, our soul (maby making a pitstop in the so called hevan) returns to earth and we are born...
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Exsams... Frustration, exsoustion, depression. Why do these words asosiate with exsams? The education system is ruining more lives than it is saving it seems. A lot of people tend to crack under pressure and we are pressured so much. It feels like all of the rest of our lives depend on one paper. In Korea there are thousands of students comiting suicide becouse of their impossible exsams. Why does it have to be this way? Do we need all the things they teach us in school? No, no we don't. Ofcourse there are countries, which have more open minded learning proceses, but there are still so many, that affect the lives of students in a terribly negative way. They say that technologie is ruining the younger generation. Well I think it isn't true. The younger generations are corupted by the unnessesary things they teach in school, by boring programs that they don't need, that teach them to assosiate school with a bad, boring, stupid, unhealthy, unnessesary plase that they want ...
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